Adoption is STOPPED

Well, we got a HUGE shock on Tuesday.
Our International Agency scheduled a conference call with us, our caseworker, and the Director of the agency.
I thought this was going to be exciting and wonderful news.  Matter of fact at the beginning of the conversation, which now is a blur, I looked at Josh with such excitement as I was thinking we are going to Africa!!!
As the Director was stumbling over her sentences I started to realize this wasn't that call I had been waiting for.  Then finally the words came out, "The girls have been reunited with their father."

Dumbstruck
Shock
Wow

Not at all what we were expecting.  The tears came. The questions came.  
Bottom line was that the Ethiopian government is making a huge push in that area to reunite birth families wherever possible.  They have organizations giving financial support to help them.  So by the time we received the call the girls were already moved home.

Talk about TWO very extreme opposite emotions all at once.  We were heartbroken to a degree.  We have been preparing and planning for these two girls.  We met them.  Spent one week with them.  Have spent ourselves in many ways in the last two months for these specific girls.  When Malakai walks into "their" bedroom he says their names.  We were making them as much a part of our family as you can without them actually being here.  Their pictures are up.  They have a bedroom, some clothing, some jewelry.  We got a bigger car, bigger fridge...I don't say any of this in pity.  Just as a fact of where we were at.  We talked of them multiple times a day.  Prayed for them daily.  Hudson was really looking forward to it also.  So basically we were 'all in'.  None of which we regret.

The other end.  Two girls who had been dropped at an orphanage 2 years ago by their dad are afforded the opportunity to return home.  A total miracle.  Those girls have so many people praying for them and their family in Africa.  Depths of healing could occur if the dad is a daddy to them.  I pray with all I am that he is, and will continue to be.  I'm praying that their entire family will be transformed by God's saving grace, forgiveness and endless mercies.  That he would pour out His spirit and blessings on them.

I'm so tempted to ask Why???  What was that?

The first two days of the news I wanted to slap logic in the head.  And no I didn't abuse Josh:)  In all truth I do believe he got some dirty looks though.

But today, day three, I can hear logic.  Josh's logical summary:
We prayed, felt God leading us toward one girl between birth to 7, and being open to sisters,  In Africa.  Well we met two girls from Africa, they were older, but who are we?  So we saw a need and said yes. 

A few sweet friends have been checking on me, praying for me, listening to me jabber, sending me verses.  Thank you sweet friends.  It means so much.

I have been praising God through my tears, sometimes just grieving.  It has been those awesome times when you don't know you are going to cry but something triggers it, and two minutes later you are in Targets parking lot thinking how am I supposed to go buy baby food when I look like a train wreck.  Awesome.

Today I woke up with a new sense of peace.  I know we will walk through this.  Those beautiful girls have a special place in my heart and always will.  I'm so thankful for the pictures, for the videos so I can hear their voices.  I can't imagine never seeing them again.   But we will trust and we will pray.

God makes a way

Adoption is not cheap.  Adoption is not easy.  Many people are involved on so many levels.

The night before we bought our house by auction, Josh and I prayed the same prayer separately without the other knowing.  I prayed, Lord, I surrender this house to you.  I REALLY like it, but I want to be where you want to put us.  So I just pray if you so choose to give us this house that you would fill it with orphans.

The next day, we almost forgot to call the auction place!  LONG and wild story short, we DID get our house that day at the auction!!!  AND for about 1/2 price. It was such a joyous moment!  Then I looked at Josh like UH-Oh.....I hadn't told him what I prayed.  So I told him and I expected an oh-no type reaction, but he looked at me and said,"I prayed the exact same thing."  WOW.  Anyone?  Wow.  Thank you Lord for working in our hearts separately and together! 

This post is about money.  We have completed 2 adoptions at this point.  One in 2010, one in 2011.  Many of you may know this is not a cheap endeavor.  It's a couple hundred here and there, a couple thousand here and there, and in the end a big fat chunk of money.  Sorry but it's true.  I have heard many amazing stories about God's provision for adoption, and we have had many amazing experiences with God's provision.  Long and short, 

God makes a way.  

We have experienced borrowing money, lump sums of money showing up randomly, and now....this time...I'm enjoying this one...

So the reason I told you the half price house story is because this half price house is how the money is coming this time.  We have a large amount of equity because of that auction.  Many small miracles have happened in order for this most recent equity line to come about.  But we were able to get a line of credit with the equity in our home to hopefully pay for all, or most of our most recent adoption that is in process.  

We look at this as a TREMENDOUS blessing from God.  We watched Him provide such a beautiful place for our family and at such a great price!  We asked him to fill it and He is.  And we see it coming full spectrum as we are able to use that equity to fill this house.  Praise be to Him. 

Many people have varying levels of opinion about getting the money for adoption.  Our experience is pray, look around, work hard, sell things, and do what you have to do.  When you can do something for a child who needs a home...

When you can put a face and name to it, 

what cost is too much?

This video kills me every.single.time. Please watch it.

 http://youtu.be/UWHJ6-YhSYQ

Spiritual Parallel's: 2. I am preparing a place for you

Joh 14:1-4  "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.  In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.  And you know the way to where I am going." 

This one is really getting me.

Probably because it is the most recent.

I can assure you our girls bedroom is done.  Before they were even gone one month, we had new bunk beds.  I shopped for the PERFECT comforter sets.  I have bought them clothes.  Flowers for the top of their new dresser.  The cuuuuutest lamp!  I mean, I kinda want their room.  EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I think of them constantly.  The time change, what they might be doing.  How are they?  Are they well?  Do they need anything?  Are they sad?  Are they having a good day?  Are there people there giving them love and attention?  Do they think on there trip to America?  Do they think of us?  I simply LONG for them.

So as I was standing in the doorway of their room one night, as I do EVERY day and usually more than once a day, and this above Scripture hit me in the head.  I took a step back as I was trying to wrap my mind around this...

If I, as silly a girl there could be, am doing this for these sweet girls in Africa, how much more is Jesus doing it for us?  I mean I met the girls for one week.  I got a little feel for there likes and dislikes.  Every little thing I have touched and looked at, and looked for, and put back, because it wasn't exactly them...  The JOY as I was dreaming of them and putting it all together.  Yes, we are preparing a place for them.  We cannot wait to see them again.  You better believe, Lord willing, we are hopping that plane to get those girls home.  You wouldn't believe the steadfast and diligent way we, ok Josh, did that paperwork, wrote those checks, drove speeding to the post office getting there 2 minutes before closing to try to shave off ONE day of the wait.  Oh yes, we are preparing a place for them.

So how much more might Jesus in heaven be preparing a place for us!  All I know is I'm trying to be patient here,  but I'm definitely excited to see it!

Spiritual Parallel's: 1. Adoption

One.  Adoption.  We are co-heirs with Christ, adopted by our heavenly Father.  Seen equally, gifted grace, salvation...so many promises.  

Well, I believed that, kinda.  My mouth said yes.  My actions kinda said yes sometimes.  When we adopted Malakai, the shades were thrown off.  My eyes saw the most incredible truth.  Light washing over my heart and soul.  THIS, this?, tHiS is what HE MEANS???  Speechless. There are not words worthy of describing this unfathomable adoption we have.  Here's how it happened:

Before you adopt you always wonder will I love them the same?  (Your biological and adopted kids.)  You are pretty sure you will.  How could you not?  But what if?  Let me assure you the answer is YES, YES, and YES!
When we brought Malakai home, it was pure love.  From the deepest part of me.  That love that every parent discovers with their first child. (No matter how you got them!)  I look at Hudson, I look at Malakai, and now Solomon...I see my sons.  My amazing, precious sons.  I longed for each one of them.  I prayed for each one of them.  I see nothing but love.  Equal, straight across the board love. 

When I actual felt that in my heart and soul for Malakai, the Holy Spirit said to me, (no not out loud:) but to my heart), that is it.  That is the sameness.  That is like YOUR adoption.  At that monumental moment, I was in complete and utter awe.  I never really understood that, until I felt it.  I'm so thankful for that.   My adoption, and the adoption of my sweetest little two year old man.(He's two right now.)  How wonderful to be co-heirs with Christ!

One Week

One week.  That's it.  So incredibly fortunate to have it.  So sad that it wasn't longer.  So so so hard to say good-bye and go through the whole adoption process.  All of us wanted to just keep them here.  We know we are adopting them, they don't.
I told you all about our first encounter which was on a Saturday.  So on Sunday we sat with them at church, and later in the day went to the zoo with them.  We had a great time.  I think feeding the goats was the highlight for all the kids.  Each day is a blur, but we made sure to see them every day with the exception of Friday.  It simply didn't work out.  But we had the host family and the girls over for dinner.  I attempted some Ethiopian cuisine:), and it turned out pretty well.  The kids broke into a water fight before dinner, so we moved dinner outdoors.  After dinner the classic game of croquet began.  Since we had a foster license we were able to spend time with the girls without supervision as well.  So that week we also picked them up twice and brought them to our house for dinner and swimming, trampoline, and of course...you guessed it, CROQUET:)  
We really enjoyed that week.  We were just starting to get to know them a little.  They were warming up to us, Hudson was enjoying their company, Solomon and Malakai were after their attention, Josh and I were getting a feel for that many kiddos:), and then the week was done.  What a privilege that week was, and my how fast it went.
Our hearts made the decision right away about adopting them.  By the end of the week we were having the conversations with the social workers and coordinators about getting started. On Saturday August 4th we drove to the host families home to play for a little while and then say good-bye.  We made two little photo albums for them.  I cleverly started the album with a picture of our family right now, went through all the events of their time with us, and ended with them included in the family picture of ALL of us!  I don't know if they got that, but hey!  I can't tell them, so I thought I would at least try to plant a little seed anyway:)
So my amazing husband worked every spare second on our home study and we finished everything for the local, and International Agency in like TWO WEEKS!  Thank you Lord for his competitive nature!  Right now we are waiting for our paperwork to be sent to the US Gov for review.  Then off to Ethiopia it will go!  Then we wait on them. 
Meanwhile, we wait.  We know this adoption game all to well at this point.  Wait and wait we will, anticipating their return.
More to come!

The day we met....

Early morning July 28th...A day that would forever change our lives...
I got up as usual to do my morning devotions before our household wakes up.  I finish up with Streams in the Desert.  The verse at the top of that day was Nahum 1:3.  It quoted just part of that verse.  It said, "His way is in the whirlwind and the storm..".  And I thought OH. my. GoOdNeSs.  We are doing this aren't we...Don't ask me why, it wasn't as AHA, as some AHA moments are.  I thought to myself, we might be going to meet OUR daughters today.  aAaAaAaAHHHHH!  How's that for a trip.
We all get up and make phone calls, feed everyone, get ready, and plan the day.  We decide it best to go to where the girls are used to being, at their host families home, and just play in the backyard.  
I'll never forget it.  Getting out of the car, going in the backyard, seeing their sweet faces for the first time.  We get acquainted with everyone and the kids start to mingle.  I try a little interaction with words but they don't speak English and are a little shy, at first that is:).  So I pass Solomon off to Josh and grab the soccer ball.  I start kicking it around, inviting them to join me.  Well that took about 2 seconds!  Before you know it we had a soccer game going.  We were laughing and playing and having fun.   When that was done Josh and the host family got all the kids involved in a game of Croquet.  We were all having so much fun!   The girls immediately loved Kai and Solo, so I think they were a big part of the ice breaker.
It was getting past dinner time so the host family invited us to join them at DQ for dinner.  So off to DQ we all went. Because of the language barrier the girls had no idea we were following them to DQ:)  So when they got out of the car and saw us, they lit up with excitement!  That was fun to see.  
We had a great first encounter with them.  It definitely seemed mutual.  As we drove home Josh and I shared what each of us thought about the whole thing.  Josh, who seems to always be able to see things clearly, was excited and saying they seemed like a great fit.  I do believe the way I felt was overwhelmed.  I was already trying to figure out the details of the "if" they became a part of our family.  At the same time as my overwhelming feelings, I felt the same way Josh did.   They seemed like a great fit in our family.  Lucky for us though, the girls would still be in America for one week!!!
And again, more to come on that week, and what is happening now:)

GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO!

Now, end of May 2012.  Africa has been making me lose my mind.  BEYOND ridiculous.  I'm ready to hop a plane.  I know there is something.  Children. Move there? I don't know, but I might lose my mind if it doesn't happen soon.  We are talking alligator tears, snot, and from the pit of my being tears.  All it would take is seeing a picture of kids in Africa.  It wasn't a hope to, it was a HAVE TO. 
So on Memorial weekend, Josh and I take a walk up in the mountains after he had read the perfect cocktail of literature: Crazy Love, Radical, and finished up Kisses from Katie.  On the walk he says I know we have been talking about giving ourselves a rest for the summer after our foster daughter leaves, but I'm (Josh talking) thinking we should adopt an older girl, and be open to sisters, from Africa.  I'm thinking who are you and where is Josh?  I think an alien crawled inside his head that weekend.  I am stunned and say yes, sign us up. 

Well, our foster daughter leaves the following weekend and after a little while passes, Josh is kinda back in the 'let's save the money', (which has never happened), or let this or that happen first...etc.  
A little info:  There is this great program called Summer of Hope.  Summer of Hope brings older orphans to America in hopes of finding forever families before they become street kids in their native land.  
I receive Summer of Hope's emails.  I had been deleting ALL of them since we were on "break".  One day after meeting with Pastor Bob about his latest adventure to Liberia, (see I'm still hunting any possible way to get to Africa), I tell Josh that there are 3 kids here from Ethiopia through the Summer of Hope.  He pulled the car over, searched my phone, found the info, and we called the leader that night.  She sent us info, put us in touch with the host family...etc.  So there were SISTERS ages 9 and 11.  So we arranged to go meet them the next day at the host families home.  

More to come.