The Feeling...

Well, I don't have any official updates on the actual process, but I wanted to say something I forgot to write in the other post, and how I'm feeling as of right now.

What I forgot to write was that I have had a very nice stainless steal, flattop, range for sale for 1 month on craigslist. It would not sell. I had it priced very reasonably, and had tons of interest, and people saying they wanted it, and so on. It was as if there was a roadblock there or something. Then, the day I got home from the adoption agency after having delivered the check and application, I had an e-mail from someone that wanted to come get it that day, and was going to pay $50.00 more than I had just paid the agency! He came and got it that night!! Hooray! I really feel like God is saying He will provide the way. That is one of the overwhelming things with adoption is the cost, but when walking with God, it is just awesome to see His hand guiding and showing the way.

Just a quick update on how I'm feeling:) Those of you who know me, know that I'm a very excitable person. So naturally I'm sooo excited and going crazy. I'm already wanting to buy things and Josh is like sloooooow down mama. So I'm restraining myself. But I feel like I felt when I was pregnant with Hudson. The difference for me in knowing we were going to adopt someday, and now actually turning in our application and money, is that I know OUR baby is out there somewhere and I can't wait to meet him/her, and hold him/her. Whether the baby is in someone's belly right now, or wherever the baby may be...conceived yet? Who knows! But I know we have a baby out there and I can hardly stand the wait!:)

When we got this house, there is an extra bedroom, and Josh and I both agreed to set it up for a baby. So ever since moving in here, we have had an empty nursery! I knew it would be filled someday, but now that room is so much more special! I walk in it and I feel so excited!

So, that's it for now.
PLEASE pray for our baby!!!

Hudson's Perspective

This is a recent family picture of us, taken on Thanksgiving Day 2009.

So Hudson is so excited about this. He really, really wants a brother or sister, but mostly a brother.

His comments so far have been adorable, but I can only think of two, and they happened yesterday. In the morning he was having a bagel with cream cheese at breakfast. He says,"Mommy, I want butter." I say, "I know you want a brother!! It might happen sooner than you think!" He says,"No, I want butter!". I say, "I know you want a brother honey, it just might happen sooner than you think!!" Hudson, "NO!!! I WANT BUTTER!!!" Me, "OH!! I'm sorry!! I'll get it." I was laughing so hard I didn't even correct the 'i want', to 'could I please have'.

Then later in the day I was telling Hudson that our child might have darker skin than us. He wondered what I meant, and I was explaining how our skin is light in color, and how the new babies might be brown, or dark brown. He thought about it for a minute and said,"I want a blue brother." I just started laughing so hard! I think he was thinking, well if we get to pick the color....

This conversation was brought on because of the direction we are heading. We both want to do International Adoption, but right now we are thinking Domestic. The waiting list, sadly to say, for a Caucasian baby is miles long, and matter of fact closed at this point through our agency. There is a lot of opportunity for Biracial or African American babies. I'm thrilled because that is what I was hoping for anyway, and Josh is to because he doesn't want to get the baby that he knows is going to get a good chance, he wants a baby that may not have as much of a chance.

So that is where we are right now, and I think fairly soon our precise direction will become a little more clear.

The Beginning

OK, I have never set up a blog or anything like this before! So here it goes!

Josh and I have always wanted to "someday" adopt. I think Josh always felt like we would have all our "own" kids first and then adopt. My preference has always been to mix it up. We have talked about this MANY times throughout our whole married life which began May 1, 2004.

We got pregnant with Hudson 14 days after we got married! Believe me, Grandma was counting the days to see if it added up! It did:) Our plan was to have 4 kids fairly close together. That obviously has not happened for us. God has another, better plan. We did get pregnant in August of 2008, but we miscarried in October of 2008.

This past August of 2009 it became very clear to us that we wanted to get moving on this. We were having quite a few conversations on the topic at this time, and one evening on a coffee shop date we were discussing our family goals, short term and long term. We both really wanted to have the opportunity to share all the blessings God has given us with children who may not have this opportunity. I don't just mean material blessing, but spiritual blessing. God has brought us so far and we want to love and provide a life for a child or children.

Well, we got to work right away and filled out paperwork, went to a seminar, researched agency's....But when it came down to it, we did not feel comfortable financially at this point. We were in the process of buying a home and lots of things were happening with the business, and Josh wanted to wait a little longer. Back to my knees I went:)

We ended up getting the house of our dreams, and God did amazing miracles for that to happen. We got it way sooner than expected, and for almost $60,000 dollars less than our offer. That was after deciding to walk away because it looked like a dead end. The night before we got it, I prayed Lord, if this house is something you have for us, PLEASE, please fill it with orphans. The next morning we surprisingly got the house at an auction, and I said Josh do you want to know what I prayed??? He said what?? When I told him, he said he prayed the exact same thing early that morning!! I thought I was going to get the OH BOY!! response.

After getting the house, Josh wanted to see our new payment, and utilities and such before beginning. So i just kept praying. Funny thing was, we just weren't able to get it financed. Between August, and this is now December, we have talked a lot about all this. I felt strongly that we should take a leap of faith, but I opted to talk to God about this and let him do the working in Josh. I never wanted this to be a my will kind of thing.

We both believe this is something God has laid on our hearts, and we both like doing things in such a way when we know God is leading, to leave some room for Him to show up. Like right now financially this is not "comfortable". God is going to have to show up and make this possible.

So we went to see 'The Blind Side' on this past Sunday, December 6, 2009, and it opened the door of prayer and conversation back up. That night Josh said let's do it. This time he handed me a blank check and filled out the application!!! Believe me, I didn't mail it, I drove to the agency the next day!

Well another amazing thing is that Sunday night Josh made the final commitment, and we found out Monday morning that our mortgage person suddenly "found a way" to get us our mortgage! To me that says, obeying God, take the step, and HE provides. We have been working on getting this mortgage since September!! Up to this point no one has been able to do it.

Sorry this first entry is sooo long!! I just want to get all the little details down so I never ever forget what God has done!!

Lastly, yesterday, when I walked into the agency to give the application and check, the ladies say, "We were just talking about you!". I was like wow! Then, I was able to spend like 45 minutes with our actual person. She told me at the end that it must have been divine because she doesn't even work out of the office and just "happen" to be there, and just "happen" to have the time to spend with me.

That is it thus far. Now on to all the paperwork, finding documents, and 35$ here, 700$ there, and such. I can't wait!!! I'm excited for the journey, and to see God's hand in all of it. I know this is a roller coaster. I will do my best to share.

Be Blessed!