Well, since our last posting, I do believe we have had at last two other notifications...
Our current person, who we truly think is wonderful!, (and are sooooo thankful for the switch to her), doesn't let us know when we are being viewed, only when we get picked. I must say that is kinda nice...at the same time it's kinda nice to know you are being viewed just to know there is action on our behalf. So I guess it's safe to just assume there is action on our behalf. Now the other thing that happens is that other agencies in other states have our profile and when they show it they always contact us because they are not working directly with us and always check to be sure we don't mind.
So all that preface to say I got a call on Monday from the agency in Utah. This particular case really excites me...As much as the first call, but I have learned to keep my emotions under check since who knows the outcome. But with this one I struggle a bit with it...I know it's because in my heart, I feel particularly drawn to the situation...Kinda like my hearts desire...So in the wait to hear on this one I have had my ups and downs. As always, I realize how deep the desire runs in my heart, and the who knows how long this may be. I mean we know at some point we will get our call, and we totally trust that GOD is in control and He AMAZES me at His best for us every time. It always exceeds what I think is best:) So I guess all this to say is that yesterday and a little today, I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to this particular case...I'm kinda just screaming at the air here...it felt pretty good, I think I might get up and stomp my feet and jump up and down...
One thing I'm finally thankful for is my Sanguine nature that can bounce back pretty quickly. We have learned to keep making plans and living our life...so once I get the answer we are just on with it...Even waiting for the answer I just have moments of ...downness...I know google, you down't like my made up words, but it's just something i do!
So once again, we wait...I just thought I would reveal a little of my downness, and that this process is definitely difficult at times...especially the longer the wait goes. I mean that's what everyone says about it. The funny part is, is that we haven't been waiting that long. I think for me, a lot of it is that I've had a desire for such a long time for adoption, and then the Lord worked in Josh's heart, and then we started the process, then we didn't, then we finally really did...so yah, all that to say is that I am ready!
Oh my! I can't believe I almost forgot to give the Lord some glory here!!! In this process, I have been AMAZED, I mean LIKE OUT OF THIS WORLD AMAZED at what the Lord has done in my life. He has used this entire season, the adoption training, certain books I have read because of the adoption to open my eyes to things in my own life that have needed restoration, and He has faithfully brought healing. I have faced things dead on that seemingly would not make sense in my life that were finally labeled and then that enabled me to work through them well and make sense of it! It has brought Josh and I to a whole new level in our marriage and spiritually. So the blessings of going through this process have already been HUGE!!! Sometimes I can't believe that we actually get blessed with a child at the end of it too!
Thank you Jesus...always faithful...using it all...for your glory...so humbling
